As cliche as it sounds, the sight of you took my breath away. My pulse quickened, my palms became sweaty. The moment I stepped into the store of luxury goods, my attention was diverted away from my favourite things to you, my new favourite thing. We chatted for long, but not of ourselves. I came up with the excuse of looking at the things you sell, and being the inquisitive customer. Days passed after our first meeting. I got your name but no how to contact you. I thought about you sometimes when I'm walking to class or when I'm out with friends. I even when to your store the second time to see if you were there but you were not working that day. Then one day I had an epiphany. I will search for your profile on a social networking site! And on that day I was so excited to go back into the confines of my tiny room just to log on and find you. And as luck was on my side, I found you on an instant, requested for a friendship and a few days later, you accepted! I saw it as a first step. To something more promising later.

Months go by, and the memory of you faded along with it. With the busyness of life, I hardly thought about you but just be unconsciously aware of your presence on the networking site. Just yesterday I went to the store, to bring my visitor around. I bumped into you and I was surprised. Surprised to see how beautiful you really are and all the feelings from the first meeting flooded back. This morning I logged on to the networking site only to find out that you are now 'in a relationship'. I guess maybe next time or next lifetime then.

Today I saw the most complete, fullest sun setting.
Its roundness reminds me of His faithfulness.
Every time I see His works.
I praise Him for His mighty hand upon our lives.
My Creator whose canvas is the sky.
Who named every star with just one breath.
And created me out of dust.
A person with breath and life.
Whose years are foreordained and planned.
That is the wonder of life.

I've just self-imposed a ban from Facebook. It is for the better. Not that I'm addicted to it *shifty eyes* but I think its best I stay out of people's life for awhile. I think my ban is effective from now till I finish my assignment and presentation. Fair enough?

I was going to have lunch just now when I realised the idiot who has been stealing my food stole my eggs and meat! I seriously had enough! Thank God I'm not living here anymore after 3 weeks. I can't bear to have all my food stolen. Maybe that damned housemate is being nice, she thinks my food are expiring so she's helping me finish it. But it pisses me off nevertheless.

Another unproductive week gone by. Said I would do my assignment and finish it but didn't eventually. I am going to do it tonight, as well as my presentation. Book is due this Friday so I haven't got time to continue slacking.

3 more weeks, woman! Live it out, play it out, work it out and you're going to be on a jet plane home!!!

Six months ago it ended on a cold wintry night.
Twelve months ago it started on a warm summer's night.
Today I ponder and ask myself.
Is it time yet?
Time to let go fully, completely, every single fibre; part of me.
To let go of your adoring face, your beautiful smile and the reflection of me in your eyes,
Of your long artistic fingers entwined in mine, so warm and comforting,
Of your inviting embrace, where the world is no longer a scary place when I'm in it,
Goodbye.
Is that the word to use?
Farewell.
There is such a finality to it.
Memories flood my mind when I twist the tap, flowing, gushing like a storm,
Would it be the last time I remember the bittersweet?
Oh, I remember now.
Your scent, so intoxicating, I wished I could be bathed in it.
Your presence that lights up even the darkest of nights.
But I look at the time. And I realised.
It is time.

I've been out of the dating scene for almost 6 months. Doesn't really bother me much, because I'm still young and enjoying life. Don't feel like getting attached until I finish my degree which is in about a month's time. Besides, if I find anyone here, I don't think I can maintain a long-term relationship. So what do I do for fun?

A spring fling, of course!

Just about last week I met a guy. He's my friend's housemate and he added me on FB. We started chatting on MSN and so far, nothing much has happened. He talks alot about sex but I don't really entertain him when he talks about it. Sometimes he gets abit boring. Anyway, I'm just having fun and there's not going to be any strings attached. I don't have any feelings for him and I'm not even the slightest bit attracted to him. He's just simply not my type.

But its fun to hang out with someone who might be interested in you. Now I get it when they say its better to have someone love you than you love someone. For me, I have nothing to lose.

Too bad he doesn't interest or attract me. So I guess even a spring fling might not be happening anyway.I'll just bask in the limited attention I have. Maybe something interesting will pop up out of it.

Sometimes it is so hard to get along with people that I even wonder why God created us to be relational beings. Why not each of us live in our little own planets, running our own lives peacefully? With contact, we argue, we have conflicts and we have war. Yes, there are people who get along and love but sometimes tension arises too. I'm really sick of all the drama especially this year. Rude people, inconsiderate people, impossible people. The more you try to please them, the more they take advantage of you. And when you thought this other person is fine, and you will never get into trouble with them, shit happens and then you are once again in hot soup. I think I like living in solitude better. No drama at all. Could be abit boring but it is better than to be constantly on your toes, trying hard not to have conflicts wtih anyone.

Having relationships with people are like walking a thin rope or like walking on eggs. You're always cautious with your words and actions. You try not to say things that offend people or you do not attempt anything funny because you know that once you've crossed the line, you can never go back. I've had so many broken friendships and relationships that I think it could last me a lifetime. That's why sometimes I don't even bother making friends anymore because in the end, you get hurt or hated. Right now, I just try to be low profile as possible, not trying to draw any attention to myself. I like solitude, something that I have learned to embrace. I don't really see myself as a sociopath. It is just the circumstances that moves things along and shapes what I am today. You can say that all these drama are lessons to learn. Hard lesson they are, I must say.

This journey of life is to be shared with people to cushion the pain. But once you figure out that you can't live with people, it is better to take the road alone. Once awhile you can have people come along. Inevitably, this road is yours and yours alone.

I'm not feeling really thrilled right now. I just got the result for my Journalism and Society paper and I'm unhappy that I just got a P. Granted I did not put my 100% into it but to me, I think it deserved a C at least. Oh well, at least I passed it. I've gotten a D and a C respectively for the previous two gradings so I think if I do well for my next assg I should be looking at a C, hopefully a D. For my other subjects, I'm doing alright for Screen Texts, getting a D for my first assignment. I hope to do well for my presentation and second assignment. I've been writing about 500 words each day. Hopefully it will impress my lecturer. As for Print News, I haven't gotten any feedback to whether I'm doing okay or not but I'm just guessing that it can't be too bad. Just need to practice my inDesign. I must remember to talk to my lecturer about my feature story. I have sent him a draft but he has not gotten back to me yet.

Later I'm going job hunting with Jeremy. We're going to just pass our resumes to some shops. I've been looking for a job since July. Maybe I'm not searching hard enough. I've submitted my applications both online and through physical handing in but so far, no luck. Could be a sign that I'm not meant to get a job now. Perhaps I should concentrate on my studies? Anyway, I just hope that all goes well. Could get a mood-upper right now.