Just had a feeling while at a party.
That this will be the last seventeen days in Perth.
My heart felt heavy and my mind drifted off.
I really truly enjoy the company now.
My cell members, the life and party of my stay.
No. 76 is my second home.
Almost every single day I go there either to watch a movie or have dinner.
Listening to Groot scream at Yves.
Having Jehan shake her butt to my face.
These 8 months had alot of downs but it had alot of ups too.
So it sort of balanced out now.
I'm seriously going to miss you, Perth.
Even though I fell in love with you and fell out of love with you.
I'm not ashamed now to say, you'll always be my baby.
Summer, Autumn,Winter, Spring.
And all the joy and pain its brings.
Who would have thought I would survive the time,
With so much drama that would last me a lifetime.
During these months I learned to love and lost,
I learned that people are not always who they seem,
I learned that studying can be a difficult task,
I learned that some days can get very lonely,
I also learned to cry and laugh,
In a few weeks,
I will be home.
Home for Christmas.
Home, where my heart is.
Whether it was a good one or not, the future will determine the outcome.
I have made really idiotic choices in the past and I'm not proud of them.
In fact, I just made one a few hours ago.
I drank a whole bottle of Vitamin Water that caused me to be unsleepy and I was wide awake the whole night.
Sleep is one of my top priority in life and I'd rather kill something than toss and turn all night.
Its actually excruciating for me.
Time passes by more slowly for me that way.
I guess I'll be pretty awake today.
My stomach is going to cause me wind problems again, I'm sure.
But one thing good out of it was I managed to do 500 words for my essay.
Just 1500 more to go!
Today I saw the most complete, fullest sun setting.
Its roundness reminds me of His faithfulness.
Every time I see His works.
I praise Him for His mighty hand upon our lives.
My Creator whose canvas is the sky.
Who named every star with just one breath.
And created me out of dust.
A person with breath and life.
Whose years are foreordained and planned.
That is the wonder of life.
I've just self-imposed a ban from Facebook. It is for the better. Not that I'm addicted to it *shifty eyes* but I think its best I stay out of people's life for awhile. I think my ban is effective from now till I finish my assignment and presentation. Fair enough?
I was going to have lunch just now when I realised the idiot who has been stealing my food stole my eggs and meat! I seriously had enough! Thank God I'm not living here anymore after 3 weeks. I can't bear to have all my food stolen. Maybe that damned housemate is being nice, she thinks my food are expiring so she's helping me finish it. But it pisses me off nevertheless.
Another unproductive week gone by. Said I would do my assignment and finish it but didn't eventually. I am going to do it tonight, as well as my presentation. Book is due this Friday so I haven't got time to continue slacking.
3 more weeks, woman! Live it out, play it out, work it out and you're going to be on a jet plane home!!!
Six months ago it ended on a cold wintry night.
Twelve months ago it started on a warm summer's night.
Today I ponder and ask myself.
Is it time yet?
Time to let go fully, completely, every single fibre; part of me.
To let go of your adoring face, your beautiful smile and the reflection of me in your eyes,
Of your long artistic fingers entwined in mine, so warm and comforting,
Of your inviting embrace, where the world is no longer a scary place when I'm in it,
Goodbye.
Is that the word to use?
Farewell.
There is such a finality to it.
Memories flood my mind when I twist the tap, flowing, gushing like a storm,
Would it be the last time I remember the bittersweet?
Oh, I remember now.
Your scent, so intoxicating, I wished I could be bathed in it.
Your presence that lights up even the darkest of nights.
But I look at the time. And I realised.
It is time.
I've been out of the dating scene for almost 6 months. Doesn't really bother me much, because I'm still young and enjoying life. Don't feel like getting attached until I finish my degree which is in about a month's time. Besides, if I find anyone here, I don't think I can maintain a long-term relationship. So what do I do for fun?
A spring fling, of course!
Just about last week I met a guy. He's my friend's housemate and he added me on FB. We started chatting on MSN and so far, nothing much has happened. He talks alot about sex but I don't really entertain him when he talks about it. Sometimes he gets abit boring. Anyway, I'm just having fun and there's not going to be any strings attached. I don't have any feelings for him and I'm not even the slightest bit attracted to him. He's just simply not my type.
But its fun to hang out with someone who might be interested in you. Now I get it when they say its better to have someone love you than you love someone. For me, I have nothing to lose.
Too bad he doesn't interest or attract me. So I guess even a spring fling might not be happening anyway.I'll just bask in the limited attention I have. Maybe something interesting will pop up out of it.
Sometimes it is so hard to get along with people that I even wonder why God created us to be relational beings. Why not each of us live in our little own planets, running our own lives peacefully? With contact, we argue, we have conflicts and we have war. Yes, there are people who get along and love but sometimes tension arises too. I'm really sick of all the drama especially this year. Rude people, inconsiderate people, impossible people. The more you try to please them, the more they take advantage of you. And when you thought this other person is fine, and you will never get into trouble with them, shit happens and then you are once again in hot soup. I think I like living in solitude better. No drama at all. Could be abit boring but it is better than to be constantly on your toes, trying hard not to have conflicts wtih anyone.
Having relationships with people are like walking a thin rope or like walking on eggs. You're always cautious with your words and actions. You try not to say things that offend people or you do not attempt anything funny because you know that once you've crossed the line, you can never go back. I've had so many broken friendships and relationships that I think it could last me a lifetime. That's why sometimes I don't even bother making friends anymore because in the end, you get hurt or hated. Right now, I just try to be low profile as possible, not trying to draw any attention to myself. I like solitude, something that I have learned to embrace. I don't really see myself as a sociopath. It is just the circumstances that moves things along and shapes what I am today. You can say that all these drama are lessons to learn. Hard lesson they are, I must say.
This journey of life is to be shared with people to cushion the pain. But once you figure out that you can't live with people, it is better to take the road alone. Once awhile you can have people come along. Inevitably, this road is yours and yours alone.
